Im a Lonely Girl, I'll tell a Tale for you....

I don't know what it is. I have been feeling so alone lately...like almost to the point where certain bad habits are starting to seem like a good idea. I feel like everything is slowly falling into complete oblivion and I can't stop it. I feel numb like I have just been going through the motions for a while now. I don't know what it is... gosh I haven't been this depressed since junior year of high school. fuck. i don't even know who to turn to. Yes yes yes people say turn to God but you know i do that but i want something more than me just yelling in my head a prayer. i want someone that i can actually talk to, someone that can be there for me for more than a couple hours someone that can just hold me and make me feel like my world isn't crashing in on me. i put on a brave front when im with friends cause i don't want them seeing how once again i have let myself die inside...im so tired of feeling so alone ...now my mom is in the hospital for the next couple of days...its like really? now this is getting thrown on us...i can't sleep and haven't been able to its taking its toll on me cause i keep feeling worse on account of the lack of sleep and i go back to school on monday... at least i don't have to worry about work i can focus on school and trying to make myself better by myself as usual....